I have a few friends who are straight male dominants, and they’re both feminists. They fight rape culture, work for pro-choice causes, and check their privilege as needed. They’re happy to work under women, and listen to women, hell they’re friends with female dominants, and even though they don’t play with these women, they respect them and treat them as equals. So, how can these good, decent, kind hearted, egalitarian men enjoy tying up their girlfriends and beating them?
Because their girlfriends consent, because their girlfriends enjoy it. It’s not about man dominating woman because he’s man and she’s woman and that’s how it goes. It’s about two lovers, one who is sexually aroused by delivering pain/dominance/etc and another who is sexually aroused by receiving pain/dominance/etc.